Single parent by choice


There are many ways to start a family these days. More and more people are deciding to take it into their own hands and start a family by themselves. Single moms and dads have always been around, but now people are choosing to become single parents instead of waiting to start a "traditional" family. Why wait until you find the perfect partner before starting a family when you can just do it yourself? Becoming a single parent by choice is not an easy decision or process, and it’s also not a cheap one either. Keep reading to discover 10 of the challenges that parents face when they have made the decision to become single parents.

Picture of a Single Dad
Single dad with his son

Why do people become a single parent by choice?

Choosing to become a single parent is not an easy decision to make. First of all, deciding to raise a child on your own is a huge commitment. Raising a child is not easy, and it brings many ups and downs into a parent's life. But instead of it being on two people, it’s all on one person. Raising the kids, figuring out day cares and schools, sports and other activities, all of it is on the mom or dad to deal with. And this is on top of working and cleaning the house. So why do people choose to become single moms and dads? Sometimes they are just done looking for the perfect person to start a family with. After going on a lot of dates and being in a lot of relationships and still not finding the one, it’s understandable to want to take things into your own hands. Some people, especially women who want to experience a pregnancy, choose to become single parents because they are getting older and feel that time may be running out. Whatever the reason may be, choosing to become a single parent is a completely valid option for everyone.

How you become a single parent?

Becoming a single parent by choice can be a long and hard process. However, there are a lot of different ways that it can be accomplished. Women can get pregnant by using a sperm donor. This is a very popular choice because it means that you can carry your child yourself. There are several steps that have to be taken if you choose this option, which you can see on this website Cryos . Another option that men and women can do is hire a surrogate. This means that you hire someone to be artificially inseminated and they then carry the baby to term. Men can find an egg donor and use their sperm and women can use their eggs and find a sperm donor. Any type of artificial insemination is something to explore if you want to genetically be the parent. There is also adoption, which is where you adopt a child of any age and raise it as your own. There are a ton of celebrity parents who have become parents through adoption.

7 challenges that single parents will face

Single parenting comes with a lot of challenges. It can be hard to become a single parent and then once you are a single parent there is a whole other set of challenges that you will be dealing with. It’s good to be aware of what you will be dealing with though so that you can be as prepared as possible and feel confident about your decision to become a single parent by choice. Some challenges that you will be dealing with are:

  • Trouble Conceiving/Adopting
  • Judgment From People
  • Regrets
  • Financial Trouble
  • Exhaustion
  • Mental Health
  • Loneliness

Trouble Conceiving/Adopting

The process of becoming a single pregnant through artificial insemination and adoption can be very challenging for everyone involved. When it comes to artificial insemination, many people don’t get pregnant the first time. This can be hard on a person, whether you are trying to get pregnant yourself or hiring a surrogate. Often, multiple attempts have to be made before it is successful. Some women who do get pregnant have a miscarriage, meaning that they lose the fetus. This can be really hard on a person both mentally and physically. To hear about one person who struggled to become a single parent, check out this article by Michelle Stansbury Good Housekeeping. Adoption also has many challenges. There are a lot of forms that need to be filled out, sometimes there are home inspections, there are background checks, and so much more. You also have to figure out if you are going to adopt a child from your country or one from another country because the process and forms may be different. It can take quite a long time for the adoption to fully process as well.

Judgment From People

Single parents deal with a lot of judgment from other people. So when people hear that you are a single parent by choice, as you can imagine, they will be judging you even more than before. People will want to know why you decided to become a single parent and why you didn’t just wait until you found a partner before starting a family, as well as your parenting decisions. It’s not just strangers that will be doing this, it will be people that are already in your life. There’s not really anything you can do to prevent this either. Everyone judges other people but single parents often have to deal with it face to face in their everyday life. For some reason, people verbalize their thoughts to single parents instead of keeping them to themselves so single parents will be dealing with it a lot.


Even if you love being a single parent, there are some aspects of it that can cause some regrets. Some people regret how they become single parents, wishing that they had looked into different options or more options before choosing one. Others regret not waiting just a little bit longer before starting the process of becoming a single parent. This is especially true if they meet the person that they want to spend the rest of their life with shortly after starting the process or not long after they have their kid or kids. This can cause a lot of regrets to come to the surface. But it’s important to remember that you did want this and that you have a kid or kids that you love.

  • People often choose to become single moms and dads because they are done looking for the perfect partner.
  • Using a sperm donor, hiring a surrogate, and adopting are all different ways for people to become single parents.
  • There are a lot of challenges people who are choosing to become single parents will face before they have the kids and once they do have them as well.

Financial Trouble

At some point in time, everyone seems to have trouble with their finances. Single parents often seem to struggle financially for a number of reasons. Getting artificially inseminated, hiring a surrogate, and adoption fees can add up quickly. None of it is cheap, which single moms and dads quickly find out. And then there are all of the expenses that come with taking care of a kid. Kids are expensive to take care of throughout their lives, which adds up quickly. It’s also hard when rent, utilities, grocery shopping, and other expenses need to be thought about and dealt with when there is only one person's income coming in. Even people who think they are stable enough to become single parents can end up struggling financially.


Feeling tired is normal for everyone. But when you are a single parent, the feeling of exhaustion is on a whole other level. Not getting a proper night's sleep for weeks or months at a time can really affect a person. Today’s Parent talks about how it can change your mood and even your mental health. Obviously, if you adopt an older kid or kids it’s not going to be quite the same, but constantly being worried about them and wanting to keep them safe can wear any single parent down.

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Mental Health

It is very common for single parents to struggle with their mental health. When you are stressed, barely getting any sleep, working, cleaning, shopping, and raising kids on your own, it can be hard to find time to take care of yourself. That’s why so many single parents struggle with their mental health. They don’t make the time to take care of themselves or feel that they are too busy to fit it in. Even taking five minutes a day to do a breathing exercise, a face mask, a quick workout, or whatever helps you calm down, can do wonders to a single parent's mental health.


Single parents often feel very lonely. It can be hard to feel that nobody around you understands what you are dealing with. And It can be hard to find the time to socialize with people or go on dates. That’s why single parenting groups can be helpful. You can find groups of single parents that meet in your area by doing a quick online search, then meet up with them whenever they have a meeting scheduled. This gives you the opportunity to meet other single parents and to let your kids meet and play with other kids as well. Finding groups that meet in your area helps single parents realize that they aren’t the only ones out there and that they aren’t alone in this.

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